Painful Memories Of You
by Kitsune Akumu
Summary: Sad and alone, she sits quietly on her bed, thinking of all the time he used to hold her, kiss her. And were was he now? somewhere far away, possibly dead by now. now all she had, was these bittersweet memories of him. -First chapter is only a short summary of what chapter one will be.
1. Chapter 1

My vision was hazy and my breathing shallow, my limbs numb and heavy. My throat was dry and my lips were chapped, my nostrils cracking from the dryness, blood streamed out my nose and down my face. And left a warm sensation on my icy skin. The wetness of my blood seeped into the cracks on my lips , making them burn, sweeping my tongue out in hopes to calm that burning sensation but only receiving a bitter copper taste. My eye lids felt heavy and drooped down when I tried to open them. My heart thumped slower and slower almost coming to a stop. Bones ached and muscles strained with every move. Scuffing on the ground could be heard faintly but the blood rushing in my ears was drowning out all the noise. A swift movement of the air splitting whizzing down towards me, pain wracked my body as my cheek bone crunched under the forceful pressure.

Eerie silence fell upon the scene unraveling in the darkness, flashes of memories surface and are gone as fast as they come. Shadows dance along the bloody ground and twisted figures slither about. A pain so deep that not even I could escape. Fear energizing my body, shaky movements and unclear thoughts cloud my mind as darkness closes in. struggling to escape but nowhere to go. My heart thumps loudly in my chest as I crawl across the ground flesh tearing and blood oozing. My Breathing becomes erratic, muscles go stiff, as darkness crawls in settling in my weakening soul. I'm slowly fading away and leaving my body to decay. Memories that once meant so much now fade to black, life that had held so much meaning ,starts dying .tears spill over and ease the pain, the feeling of hope and faith now all gone . My mind now sinking deep into a pit of despair. Another whizz of air and my ribs crack on impact piercing my lungs, filling them with fluid. I struggle to breathe but suffocate slowly despite my efforts to escape. The struggling stops as my fate is accepted, eye lids fluttering closed and darkness consumes me 

* * *

Sitting up in my bed , i wipe the sweat from my brow. i couldn't push those thoughts from my mind. He had told me to run, to run as fast as i could. and i failed to do so. Now here i am 2 years later ...alive. Laxus ...hes god knows were, Fuck he could be dead for all i know, and it could be my fault. all of it.

**" This is just a short summary. i wanted to get this set up, because this is my next LaLu story with possible LyLu , depending on how i feel. ***


	2. Chapter 2:Escape artist

* Chapter 2 is now up ! woo ! lol yayyy hehe enjoy, please review and lemme know what you think :) I do not own fairy tail hiro does :( *

Drawing my knees to my chest, i sat there , surrounded by memories of him, His sarcasm and cocky smile. The way his blue eye's would light up with amusement. His deep rich laugh, his smile. He was my best friend, he took care of me, After Nasu had left to go on missions with lisanna, more more time would pass and eventually natsu forgot i was even his laxus stepped in. He was the one who, took me on jobs, hung out with me at the guild, slept over at my house after a movie marathon.

That was 2 years ago though, now hes gone...We had wen to an abandon amusement park, no one had been there in some how laxus had managed to get the lights to power on, i remember it all as if it were yesterday, how scarred he looked. Yes Laxus, the big bad dragon slayer had looked scarred, for me.

_~FLASHBACK~ _

_Giggling softly i threw my arms around him, hugging him my head against his chest. _

_"Laxus , this is so amazing! thank you.."i looked up at him smiling eye's softened and his lips tugged upwards into a genuine smile, he looked so charming when he smiled. _

_" No biggie Blondie, you've been looking down lately and i wanted to cheer you up." He chuckled lightly before patting my head . _

_"Aww you're just a big softie." i teased, poking his side .narrowing his eye's he casted me a forced frown. _

_" I aint soft, i could snap your little body in two girlie." His voice was deep and serious, but his eye's glinted playfully. _

_"Psshh Whaat? i dont know, im pretty tough i think i can handle ." i puffed out my chest and waved my hand in a little shooing motion. glancing up at him i smirked , taunting him. _

_Before i knew my body was lifted up into the air, and pressed up against a solid chest, my feet a good 12 inches or soo off the ground. _

_"Laxus! Put me down." i laughed squirming in his grip, his arms firmly wrapped around my waist securing me to him. _

_I i noticed his grip tighten, looking up i saw him, gazing down at me, no smile no i upset him. _

_"..Laxus?" i asked quietly. no answer. wrapping my legs around his waist, i moved my bodyup higher, so i could be face to face with him. cupping his face into my hands, i looked at him. Nothing, absolutely nothing. It was as if the lights were on but nobody was home. _

_"Lucy."his voice startled me eye's looked sad now for some odd reason. _

_"Laxus you spooked me! you were so quite, is everything alright?" i asked, as i unwrapped my legs from him, sliding back down tot the ground, though his grasp on my waist never wavered. _

_"Lucy ..i need to tell you ..something." Laxus spoke slowly, as if he was contemplating something important. _

_Before i could even respond, i was knocked to the ground , the impact steeling the breath from my tingled up my spine, as it throbbed achingly. Gasping for air, as i tried to sit up, i looked to see laxus, pinned to the ground, only a foot or so away from he, his body wrapped up in what looked to be wires, razor sharp ones. _

_"LAXUS!" I screamed out , my body moving on its own to reach eye's Darted towards me. _

_"Lucy..Lucy Run ! " was all he said as his body covered its self with crackling lightning, breaking the wire's that had bound him. _

_"No, laxus we need to leave, together!" i shouted, Just as i was about to reach for his shoulder, i heard a familiar voice. _

_"No no no Little Lucy, go ahead Run." I whipped around to see minerva stepping out of the shadows, a twisted grin curved her mouth. _

_"M-Minerva..How..why?" i stumbled back, glancing nervously over at laxus, he was standing straight as a rod, as little lights of silver glinted around the area around him. Taking a few steps toward him i reached my hand out to him, but the wires sliced into my arm, warm blood poured from the deep gash. _

_Laxus would get us out, he was the strongest man i knew. Turning around i ran. forcing my legs to propel me farther, in was almost positive laxus was already breaking his way through the wall of wire's, taking a glance back, i saw creatures i didn't even know existed, slither out, their long teeth, were bared and snapped as they grew closer to laxus. there eye's were black and hollow, long lithe bodies with deformed spines and spider like legs. tears began to stream down my face as i realized, that this wasn't something, that happened. _

_Those Things, were something apart of something far bigger. i was so shocked that i hadn't even realized that i had stopped running, my feet ; heavy like lead weights, held me in place. my throat, felt as if i had swallowed cotton and dirt. I brutal sob echoed around me, so painfully heart wrenching, that i had blinked in surprise, wondering who else was here. But when The beady black eyes swiveled in my direction i realized it was me, that sound had come from me. _

_"LUCY! RUN!"i could hear Laxus's voice, calling out to me., my eye's zeroed in on his face, i felt my heart stop in my chest as i saw absolute terror on his face, he wasn't scarred for himself but for me, because he began to send out bolts of lightning at the spider like creatures. Trying to draw their attention back to him, A Large beam of light shot out a laxus, bursting through his shoulder. Oh god. no this cant be happening. i need to get help. _

_Turning i ran, faster than i ever thought possible, me feet took me out towards the docks, were the exit was only around the corner from. pushing my body faster, i was so close to passing the cocks, when i felt the stinging pain of the bullets piercing my flesh, long before i heard the thundering boom of the guns going off. _

_i saw the world whiz by, as my face slammed into the edge of the dock, blood bubbled up and spilled from my mouth, dripping onto the wood and clouding the water a murky red. _

_turning my body, over to were i was on my hands and knees , i attempted to lift my self up, I felt a foot slam into the center of my back, sending my back into the ground. _

_My chin hit the dock with so much force that i felt my teeth sink down into my tongue, more blood filled my mouth and my tongue swelled up almost instantly. _

_i tried to scream , but no sound would come out, rolling over onto my back, i looked up into the eye's of minerva. _

_"I just love the thrill of the chase, dont you?" she sneered down at me, her black hair blending in with the sky. _

_That bitch. i tried to drag my body farther away from her, but i heard her cock the gun, and when she pulled the trigger, i felt the bullet burry itself, into my side. my body tensed and shook with pain. my vision began to blur, my head lolled to the side, blood seeped from my nose, as i felt my bones being shattered. but all i could hear was the blood rushing in my ears, and my ever slowing heart beat. and all i could see was the reflection of the moon in the water, as it rippled with every drop of blod that slid from my finger tips. _

_i couldnt breath, it felt as if i was under water attempting to take in air, but bringing water in instead. i was suffocating. in my own blood. i could here the faint laughter and foot steps of minerva as she left me. laying there bleeding , dying, on the docks. i knew i was dying . It was coming to an end , but all i could think of was, if laxus was ok, if he had made it out.I was scarred of dying with out knowing if he was ok. Its all my fault. _

_its all my fault. _

_my fault. _

_`~FLASHBACK END~ _

Involuntarily i gripped my knees tighter too me. I've spent he last two years in an hospital , undergoing physical therapy, and occasional trips to the don't take me any more. Doctors seem to think I'm a lost cause. And maybe i am. Not they would know anyway, they've got me so hopped up on morphine and assorted medications, i Can't even remember the last time i felt any emotion.

i just sit around staring blankly at the walls. I'm scarred to sleep. I hate closing my eye's. Because all i can see is , his face, hear his voice, see his smile. i suppose it should be peaceful to hear and see those things. but i find it so painful, because now , I'm all alone, he's gone. dead even.

And its all my fault. I didn't listen to him, i didn't even try to fight back, i should've stayed behind and fought with all i had. instead i ran, but not nearly fast enough. Who's to say i would have even made back on time with help. What if by the time i had gotten back, he was dead? I could feel the tears burning in my eye's as the spilled over my cheeks and down my face. i dug my nails into the sides of my arm.

so deep the trickles of blood trailed down my arms, weaving together like the branches of a tree, branching out and connecting to another. sobs wracked my body, and before i could even stop my self, i stood up and tore the needles and tubes from my body, flinging the IV cord onto the bed. is stumbled out of bed. trying my best to move my legs. my therapy, was for my ability to walk, and to regain the feeling in my left hand. leaning against the wall for support, i gripped the edge of the window seal.

forcing it open, i managed to pull half of my body through the window, my legs felt practically useless. I could here the monitors beeping loudly, and the nurses busting through the halls. my body tumbled from the window, and i fell on my left wrist rather awkwardly, the way it twisted i knew it was possibly broken, but i was still feelings the affects of the morphine, running in my system . moving as quick as my legs would allow me, i stumbled through the street, managing to get away from the hospital, or at least out of there sight. looking back at the hospital if you could even call it that. I didn't belong in a damned asylum, i was traumatized not crazy, there's a difference.

I moved down into the ally way, my hands using the brick wall for guidance, for my legs were still rather wobbly. it was dark and cold out, and all i had on was, a damned hospital dress, with a straight jacket wrapped around my waist from the night before when the nurse had came in to hook me up to the machines, claiming, i needed to be sedated if i didn't cooperate.

Bullshit. they all did nothing but spout bullshit.

They didnt even care that laxus was missing. No one listens to you, when they think your crazy. i needed to get home. to the guild. to find laxus. Before they find me. i cant let them find me. i NEED to find out were laxus is, and if hes even alive.

*Yikes , Sorry its short, hehe but no if your wondering, no lucy's not crazy, she was only traumatized , and had night terror's . i hope you guys like it :)* 


	3. Chapter 3:Hardships of the heart

*** I dont know why but for some freaky reason every time i post a chapter , multiple words go missing. like what the hell. anyone know how to fix this? So im going to aplogize for any missing words, **_**or even sentences :( **_**, It's not my intentions for them to be gone :( so please try your best to fill in the blanks untill i can figure out why this is happening. any hooooo~~ **  
**I hope ya'll enjoy mah storie :p AND thank you all who reviewd, i really appretiate it ^_^ ***

**CHAPTER 3 **

**Painful Memories Of You **

Practically dragging my feet as i walked, i had managed to make it to _his house_. I knew it wouldn't be safe to go to my home, no no that would be one of the first places they would look for me at. I went to the next best place. Laxus's home. Reason one, it was hard to find, surprising since it was a rather big place, his house was located at the edge of the forest, built right on the bank of a lake, big and beautiful. And Reason two...i really needed something familiar to keep me sane, and what place better than my best friends house.

And aplace with more memories then any were else. i practicaly lived with him half the time, on stormy nights, i would cuddle up to his side wrapping my arms around his neck , and he would finger comb my hair soothingly and hum. I know it may seem strange to imagine him humming, doing anything nice really. But Laxus wasnt what people pegged him out to be. sure he was arrogant and cocky but thats a given, but him being mean and uncaring? Never, he has rocked me to sleep more times than i can count, been my shoulder to cry on, held me close when times were bad. Comforted me through the storms that would brew through the night, he gave me confidence and a renewed reason to smile.

He was the most precious person too me, he still is and i will not rest untill i find him. i swear to god that i will see him again. a few stray tears burned a warm path down my cold face.

"I can do this...i can." i whispered to my self as i forced my self to walk up the porch steps. crouching down to reach under the mat for the spare kept it in such an obvious place it was such a wonder no one ever broke in. i felt my lips twitched slightly at the idea . How i missed him, his hugs , his smile 'god i want him back' i felt my chest tighten with unwanted guilt.

standing back up i unlocked the door, pushing it Heavy door swung out, revealing his home, in the same ordor it had been the night we left for the amusment park. nothing had been moved. It was like home. But with the horrid fact that no one was home.

moving in side i closed the door, not bothering to lock it. The idea of him just walking through that door as if nothing had ever happened still clinging tightly to my mind.

Walking through the house , my fingers lightly trailed over the wall's grazing over the pictures hanging on the wall. His smile bright and rare, i had been lucky to even catch it on camera. Continuing up the stairs and down the long hallway i had found his room. Opening the door , a cool breeze swept in to ghost along my skin. his room was large and spacious with a large bed in the middle, a black comforter and deep Maroon pillows adorned the bed.

But the best thing was the smell. It smelled just like laxus , like haven.

The scent was stormy and had a refreshing spice to it.

Sometimes i wish Laxus had saw me as more than just a was a reoccurring thought i had, but each time it resurfaced i would burry it deeper. I ran my hand over the smooth fabric of the fingers curling into it griping it tight in my fist as i sat down at the edge, the tightening of my chest increased, knowing that Laxus hadnt been here in 2 years. That there's a chance he may never be here again. standing up abruptly i walked over to his dresser. I held a large dark purple button up shirt in my was the one he had worn the night we left the house. He had decided to leave it at home and go shirtless instead, claiming that it was too nice out side for a shirt.a stray tear slipped from my eye; holding the shirt to my face, i inhaled the lingering scent of him.

tossing the shirt onto the bed, i stripped off the disgusting hospital gown and straight jacket, picking them up i held them at an arms length walking over to the cloths hamper that i had insisted he get. and dropped the unwanted items inside.

walking back over to his bed' completely unashamed of being naked in his slipped the over sized shirt over my head, wrapping my arms around my self, trying to bring the shirt closer to me if thats even possible.

Curling up on my side i hugged my knees close to my chest as i laid there surrounded by him. his scent. his warmth, the never ending echo of his voice, The faint feeling of his arms wrapped around me that just wont seem to fade away. I missed body shook with bottled up emotions , a silent sob wracked my body. and then another. eventually they were rocking my body so badly, no longer silent, i cried out in pain. not physical, emotional.

"Laxus...uuhha...its all my fault..im sorry so sorry" i sobbed harder, gripping the pillow against my body.

***NORMAL POV***

the blonde beauty, had cried herself to sleep, her eye's red from crying and her face still wet from her golden hair ran down her back in waves, longer now. her curvaceous body, was curled up in to a ball, a deep maroon pillow clutched tightly in her arms.

The blankets were pushed down slightly and mussed from her lips wer set into a pout, parted slightly as air passed through them.

~somewhere deep underground.~;)

**Mystery POV **

My chest heaved, and my muscles strained as i lifted the heavy weight above my head, stacking it with the other's

"This is bloody bullshit..." i grumbled under my breath, leaning down to heft another slab of steel up.

"What was that?!" i heard the Commanders voice only seconds before i heard the loud crack of the whip against my back. the flesh split and i felt my blood seep from the wound grazing over the previous marks of my beatings. Grinding my teeth together tightly as i refused to let out any sound of pain.I refuse to let them think that they were Affecting me so badly.

"I asked you a damned question, you piece of shit, now answer me!" his gruff voice echoed through out the tunnel, i could hear the other slave's groan in pain as the Queen's men unloaded more metal, today we stack, and tomorrow, we throw it into the furnace to be melted.

"Do you not hear me!? " the commander shouted out at me, his whip lashing out to slam down onto my back with renewed force, my muscles tightened involuntarily.

" I said...," Clenching my jaw tight as he cracked down onto my back again with his whip." that this is ..BULLSHIT," i snarled , my nostrils flaring as i spun around the shackles around my wrist cut into my wrist at the sudden movement.

" Why you ...little... Your taking a nice little trip down to the cellar ." The commanders face was a mask of rage and pride as he grabbed the chain and jerked it, my neck following the motion.

" If you do not cooperate ill turn the shock on your collar to full blast ." he sneered.' Bloody asshole, just because the queen fancy's him he thinks hes got something to hold over my head'

"Fuck You , AssWipe." i casted him a cocky smirk and spat at him my obvious miss fancy pants here thinks electricity will hurt me? heh bring it ass hole.

"Why you-" he was cut off by a loud voice. "Commander , What do you think your doing to subject 19? Itold you i will not have you mar his body any further. I need him for further purposes." Her sickly sweet voice sickened me. glancing over at her, my eye's narrowing in disgust .

"So good to see you again Minerva." my voice practically over flowed with eye's swiveled towards my direction.

"Subject 19.I suggest you speak to me with more respect than that, with that attitude you wont be released anytime soon." She spoke firmly, her words cold. I felt the stinging pain of a knife being pushed down into my back, forcing my wounds to open up wider. More blood gushed from the long deep gashes.

"Hnn...And when would that be?" i grunted glaring at the commander out of the corner of my eye's. Minerva turned away and began to walk away her hands clasped be hind her back,glanceing back at me, signaling for me to follow.

Following closely behind her, ignoring the burning sensation on my back.

"Your release time was to be due some time around, the next two to three weeks." she spoke as we rounded the corner into the main corridor.

"Are you fucking kidding me? so close..." i replied exasperated. I could leave...Go home. To be free of this hell Hole. Fuck. I...could see...no, no no no No ...shes been dead for years now. ill never get to tell her how feel, or kiss her. and its all because of Minerva that she is gone.

"Yes, it is rather close, witch is why im sending you out on a mission." she spoke as we came up in front of a heavy duty door.

"And what would that be?" i asked, a mission? i hadnt been on a mission since she had me fake my death . That was a gruesome fucking , mission. i mean just knowing that they would find my body, lying there, bleeding. I could only imagine the pain. But what choice did i have? not shit. They at least had the curtesy of keeping me hostage for a fucking week before informing me that she was dead, and what my first mission was to be.

"I want you too, Bring me a woman. Her Name is Lucy Heartphilia.I want her here preferably alive."She said turning to look at me a twisted smile curving at her lips.

i blinked. Lucy...Lucy... it sounds familiar.

"What does she need to be here for? and is there an appearance i should look out for?" i asked bored. Lucy...IT sounds so fucking familiar, but i cant seem to peg what it is. Fuck ive been under ground wayyyy to long, i think the lack of actual fucking air, might be causing brain damage, go figure.

"I need her for her power. As far as appearance goes, you'll know her when you see her." she said turning away from me to open up the door.

"These will be your clothes and whatever Possible materials you may need ." she informed me before walking away. I flipped her off as she walked. i fucking despised the woman.

Looking back at the closet, i rapped my new change of clothes and began to prepare for y second mission in two years.

***SOOOOO what did ya think? im sure you guys can guess who the pov is ;) review if you liked it, loved it, hated it . follow , review and fav please~ **

**thank you **

**-Kitsune ***


	4. NEWSLETTER ! YIKES D:

OKAY! so folks you may just get a chapter four on here for painful memories of you, and MABEY a new chapter for just an accident ;) SO i've been real crabby and stressed out between school work, community service , my job , repainting and construction on my room, along with trying to fit in new chapters D: im exhausted seriously. but im trying really hard to get these chapters out, but if there not out by December, then i might be discontinuing my storys


	5. Chapter 5:easy mission, easy kill?

Standing in front of the steel doors that had kept me prisoner for so long felt...bloody good. Of course the reason im standing in front of it may not be as sweet, but the mission was as good as done, , and return here to release her to custody. Piece of cake. And of course my reward shall be far more better than a brief time outside of the fucking hell hole. my freedom. And fuck does that sound good. i was fucking sick of the shit they gave me.

I felt a painful jerk on my scalp as my hair was gripped firmly and yanked back, hard enough that blood began to trail down my neck. I felt a low growl rumble in my chest at the feeling.

" Subject 19, before you leave i have requirements." bitch # fucking 1 , said . I felt immediate distaste fill my mouth at the idea of her hands on me. Another memory i prefer to forget.

"And what would that be Minerva? " i snarled out between my teeth. her fist tightened in my hair; pulling on it until i was brought to my knees. Leaning in close i felt her place her lips on my neck ;could feel them curling into a smile.

" loose the attitude you whore. Speak with a bit more respect hmm?" she spoke sliding her hand around to cup me through my pants.

" Fuck you , call me what you please but feeding me drugs and chaining me up arent exactly what i would call a 'willing submission ' you bitch!" i gnashed my teeth in anger, ill kill the bitch before i let her near me again.

"Feh, you served your use, the maids certainly found you of use , as did i. although im sure it would've been more fun if you weren't on drugs. i mean c'mon, it was like a dead fish, you didn't move; of course you were heavily sedated but all in all you were boring." she snickered to her self. " though i liked it when you fought back, seeing you struggle against your restraints, mmm now that was thoroughly exciting."

i felt disgusted and all the more enraged.

" Enough of that captain." the soft thud of her bare feet against the cold concrete echoed through out the halls.

"princess, may i ask for what you may be doing out here for?" Minerva asked, her tone agitated.

" to wish my favorite warrior good luck." she responded, her eyes moving to stare at me. I felt uncomfortably conflicted whenever she stared at me. out of everyone here she was the only one i would kneel down to. and that's only because she was the lesser evil of them all. But fuck was she demanding.

" 19, stand please, there's information that you'll need. " she brushed her blood red tresses away from her face as she motioned for minerva to take leave. Even to my surprise the bitch left with no back talk.

" Excuse me, kistara but please keep your minions in check, i'm sick of the constant abuse. " i spat out irritably. her icy gaze narrowed.

" You've been my leading in all the war's we've fought in the two years you've served me. lets not start problems now shall we." she spoke in a clip tone.

" My dearest apologies _princess, _but i have no intention of stopping, what else do i have but to start shit. Warrior? Fucking really? jeez, ive been called many of things but definitely not warrior, last i checked i was the fucking prostitute. " i sneered at her my disgust evident. i hated everyone here. they've, torn me away from everything. they've stole my memory, murdered the one person i vaguely remember. I've murdered more people than i can count in all the fucking treason and wars i've participated in. I was a slave and took what ever position i was offered.

" I grow weary of this game,Its not my business what the commanders do for punishment, if your willing to act out then you best accept the effect of your actions."she sighed her tan skin glowed as the flames from the torches flickered casting shadows along her skin.

"Rape? that's your idea of punishment? Your fucked up." i leaned back against the wall and crossed my arms across my chest, the muscles in my back straining at the painful act, for my wounds were still fresh and not ready for movement, but i pushed through it anyway.

"There was a time when you would accept my personal punishments with open arms. " her eyes looked sad for the briefest moment. "but nows not the time for lingering on the past."

'_yes because i totally remember my past, you bitch'___

_" Your mission is to take place in fiore, you'll go under the name of Axel Daryus. Keep your face concealed as much as possible." _she said , moving closer to stare me in the eye's.

I was done talking to her i wanted nothing more than to leave this fucking place and get out of here as fast as possible.

"Sounds fucking peachy, now i've got places to be and things to do, so if you dont mind . Quite bitching and i'll take my leave." i snapped . She was taking up more time than necessary. I wanted out. Now. Turning i pushed the heavy doors open, and for the first time in a longtime i felt the sun's warm rays leek through and touch my skin.

_

she didn't wanna move, her body ached and she was all out of tears. encased in sweet memories of him, but when she dared close her eye's it was a never ending nightmare of repeatedly loosing him.

Slowly she pulled her self away from the the tangle of sheet that wrapped around her body. her golden blond hair fell in messy waves around her face, mussed from sleep.

her amber eyes blood shot from all the crying.

Now all she had to do was find _him._


End file.
